Gold Star Mom brought to tears
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August 24, 2013 |
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tearful Bernadette Kirk-Bonner and her
daughter, Jessica Tingley |
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On Friday morning, Super 1 manager Brian Ennis
had to call employee Bernadette Kirk-Bonner
upstairs to the office, and she left in tears.
"You deserve this, Bernie," he said.
What she deserved was given her by members of
her own family; her daughters and grandchildren.
What they gave her represented the gratitude and
support of an entire community.
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Joshua
Kirk |
Bernie is a Gold Star Mom, a mother who lost a
child in service to their country. Her son,
Joshua Kirk, laid down his life October 3, 2009,
pouring down fire on the enemy early on in what
would become known as the Battle of Kamdesh,
when over 300 Taliban fighters, heavily armed,
attacked Combat Outpost Keating, an ill-placed
position held by 60 American and two Latvian
soldiers, in one of the fiercest engagements
fought in the War in Afghanistan.
Bernie was one of eight who became Gold Star
Mothers that day.
While they come from across the United States
and are separated by miles, many Gold Star
Mothers keep in touch, offering one another
support in coping with the grief of having a
child who gave "the last full measure."
The Gold Star Mothers and families of a specific
engagement tend to forge an even closer bond.
On occasion, an event occurs that brings Gold
Star Families together, including the "Runs for
the Fallen," such as the one in Bonners Ferry
two years ago. On extremely rare occasion, an
event of such significance occurs that the Gold
Star Families of a specific engagement are
brought together.
One such rare occasion is the ceremony of a
soldier of that battle afforded the nation's
highest honor.
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Clinton
Romesha |
From the Battle of Kamdesh, that event took
place February 11, 2013, when the Medal of Honor
was bestowed upon Staff Sergeant Clint Romesha.
Bernie's daughter, Jessica Tingley, attended
that ceremony at the nation's capitol, meeting
not only those from other Battle of Kamdesh Gold
Star Families, but many of the soldiers who
were at that remote outpost the day her brother
laid down his life for his country.
It was an emotional journey, Jessica said, one
that still brings tears to her eyes when she
thinks of it.
One of the Gold Star Mothers she met there was
Vanessa Adelson of Virginia, whose son,
21-year-old Stephen Mace, was grievously wounded
that day.
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Stephen Mace |
Rarest of the rare events for the Gold Star
Families occurs when two Medals of Honor are
bestowed for valor in a single engagement. It
occurred in 1967 following the Battle of Ap Bac,
Viet Nam, when both Raymond Wright and Leonard
Keller were honored for their actions in that
1963 fight.
On Monday, it will happen for the Gold Star
Families of the Battle of Kamdesh, when
President Barack Obama places that pale blue
ribbon over the head of Army Staff Sergeant Ty
Carter, Spokane, who braved intense enemy fire
in an attempt to rescue Vanessa's son.
Like most Medal of Honor recipients, Ty doesn't
feel deserving. The fact that Stephan later died
despite his heroic efforts weighs heavy on him.
To Vanessa, that Stephen didn't die alone on the
battlefield, but was given a few extra hours to
smile and talk with his brothers in arms in the
safety of an aid station, to be able to tell of
his love for they and his family before he died,
is a priceless gift.
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Ty Carter |
"My gratitude for what Ty Carter did for Stephen
is beyond words," she said.
Vanessa will be at the Medal of Honor ceremony
at the White House on Monday, and so too will
Bernie Kirk-Bonner.
When the award was announced, Jessica spoke with
an Army liaison officer. Often, there are
government funds available to bring members of
the Gold Star Families to Medal of Honor
ceremonies. This time, there weren't.
"I told him I'd take care of it and booked your
ticket that day," Jessica told her mother. But her
credit limit wouldn't stretch much beyond the
cost of the flight.
Just nine days before her mother's scheduled
departure, she emailed Rhonda Vogl, U.S. Customs
and Border Patrol and whose circle of friends
knows no bounds, to ask if she knew anyone in
the D.C. area who might welcome a houseguest for
a few days.
Rhonda called back almost immediately, saying
she and her husband, Mitch, would be proud to
offer her Mom a night's stay in Washington. She
also said that she had a feeling that there were
many others in the community who would also be
proud to help.
"Hang tight," Rhonda said.
Despite the crush of time, Jessica did, and
Rhonda was proved oh so right.
"She will tell you she didn't do anything,"
Jessica told her mom yesterday morning of
Rhonda, "but you should not believe her, because
what happened over the next nine days was
amazing! Donations came in big and small. Some
donated anonymously, others donated and did not
care or ask to be acknowledged, but all gave
generously to support you in this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, to make sure
Josh was represented at the White House
ceremony."
On Sunday, Bernie will board a plane, all
expenses; flight, hotel, all taxes and fees paid
by a grateful community. Jessica was reimbursed,
and there was even money to go into Bernie's
purse for meals and incidental expenses during
her trip.
Bernie knew nothing of all this when she was
"called to the office" Friday morning and
Jessica broke the news. Jessica read her a long list
of those who gave, and the tears of gratitude
fell.
Even her schedule at work had been shifted to
afford her less rush and worry.
"You deserve this," Ennis told her as she wiped
away tears.
It's an inspirational story Vanessa promised to
share with Gold Star Families nation-wide.
"It's so easy to feel alone, to feel that the
grief is ours alone," she said. "This shows that
most often we aren't."
Rhonda hadn't done "everything."
The members of the Border Patrol, American
Legion Post 55, and the Bonners Ferry Rotary
Club, she said, helped turn the small snowball
she set rolling into the colossus that is this
community's support.
"Now, she (Bernie) will know that we have not
forgotten," Rhonda said. "And never will." |
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